Apart from the obvious...

I sat looking at my husband the other night and thought, gosh, we really are such a different species, men and women. Like, it's actually quite comical how different we are sometimes! I got to thinking about all the ways in which we are totally the opposite of each other and thought, 'I wonder if this is just us, or is it every partnership?' ha-ha! Let's see shall we?...

Men looking

Yes! This is actually a thing. It is probably one of the most annoying things that he does, actually. How many times will your partner shout to you "Babe, where is the spare bulb?" And you answer "it's in the cupboard, third shelf, you know, where they always are."

And you wait for it...

"It's not! It's not there!"

So you get up from whatever you are doing, working, feeding the kids, bathing the kids, cooking the dinner, and you walk to said cupboard, you move the pack of UNO cards and HEYYYYYY, there's the bulb! Honestly, this happens every single time he asks me where something is. If it involves slightly moving another item to discover said object he's searching for, no chance, may as well get it myself when he asks! I think he actually waits to see if the object will jump up and down shouting "here I am!"

Men's treat shopping

I should actually know better than to ask him now as it's a given that this will happen every time. You know the days I mean when you just fancy a bit of chocolate or something sweet and you know he's leaving work in a minute, so you text him and say 'Please could you stop at the shop on your way home, we need more milk, oh and I fancy something sweet, can you grab a chocolate bar as well? Thank you!'

Well, even if I specify which chocolate bar, the weight of it, the colour of the packet and which aisle it's in, he will STILL fill his shopping basket with at least one of EVERY SINGLE ITEM down the whole aisle!!! When he walks in the front door, I can see the bag bulging and he will look at me and say, "they just fell in!"

Snoring!

Oh my gosh! This is the WORST! To be fair to him, since he gave up drinking over a year ago, he has got much, much better but oh my gosh, the snoring! The part that frustrates me but I actually find funny after is, when he is mid snore and I mean, shaking the windows with how loud it is, I give him a nudge and he comes around and says "What?" and I reply "You're snoring really loud, shhhh"

He answers "No I'm not, I'm not even asleep yet!"

'OHHHHHHHHHH OKKKKKKKKKKK, must be my imagination, imagining that really loud sound coming out of your face and just nudging you for a laugh.' I have to laugh as he says it because he says it every time! If he's lying on his back when he falls asleep, I'm DOOMED!

The items on the stairs

Ohhhhhhh, why is it that moms are the only people who ever see 'the items on the stairs.'? Very often, if I am sorting things downstairs, I may put the toilet cleaner, the clean washing, the new soap, the toilet rolls, on the stairs ready to go upstairs. Annnnnnnd these items actually become mysteriously invisible when placed there. I thought it may just be the bottom step that makes them invisible, so I have since tried other steps such as the second, third and even the fourth but nope, alllllll invisible. Sometimes, people actually have to step OVER the objects to get upstairs and they still don't see them! Amazing isn't it?!

Winding up the kids before bed

You can guarantee that exactly 15 minutes before the girls bedtime, my husband starts to rile them up. Whyyyyyyyyy?????? I have always been quite strict about bedtimes as I am a firm believer that sleep has a massive effect on behaviour. Children need a good sleep routine. If my girls were even half an hour over their bedtime routine when they were younger, they were not happy the next day. They would be grumpy, irritable and we wouldn't have a good day at all. So we have always kept a consistent bedtime routine, even when we've been on holiday!

Now they're getting a little older, we are more relaxed with bedtimes on a weekend and they often have sleepovers in each others bedrooms and stay up later but during the week, its electronics off 30 minutes before bed and they read or draw for half an hour before sleep.

Except when Daddy goes up to get them sorted with brushing teeth etc.

Yep, this is the time Daddy starts to rile them up and actively encourages them to start being hyper. This is when Daddy will encourage them to wrestle him. This is when Daddy decides to be a dinosaur and chase them up and down the landing. This is when Daddy plays 'the floor is lava.' And whilst I secretly smile to myself about how lucky our girls are to have such a fun Daddy, I do wish he would choose better times to do it. Like not before bed! Ha-Ha!

Gadget obsessed!

My Dad joked with me when I met Ross, that I had obviously pre-ordered him as he was not the 'classic lad' at all. He was not into watching sports on TV, not even football. He didn't play any sports despite having quite a sporty upbringing. And he was very much into the same kind of TV shows that I am into so we never argued about who could watch what. But then I realised, that's because he was obsessed with gadgets!

If he had a company name he would be 'Mr Apple.' He has to have the latest bit of tech that comes out and watches every tech presentation, review, show that is ever made. Many times I have come home to find him fiddling with plugs behind the sideboard or attaching light strips in the kitchen and I wait patiently for the words 'Watch this!' only to see the grin spread across his face when Alexa turns on our Christmas tree lights or pink lights start to glow from the kitchen cupboards. He will be the first to admit that he is a classic geek and proud of it too. Boys and their toys, hey.

Weird food choices

Now I honestly do wonder whether this is a typical man thing or just mine that does it. My husband puts the strangest foods together and I can never actually get my head around it. I mean, pasta with gravy?! PASTA... and gravy! Together, in a large bowl. Like what the actual heck is that? They just do not go together at all. It shouldn't be allowed to happen, like, it should be made illegal!

Ok, lets try another. Cereal... with pineapple juice on it. Not milk. Pineapple juice. Cocopops and pineapple juice. Frosties and pineapple juice. Like, WHY?!!!! It's so gross! Ok, so here's the third. Black pudding (which is honestly one of the most horrid things I have ever seen, smelt and heard of anyway) with..... wait for it..... BAKED BEANS!!!! He said that this would be one of his death row meals as well. I wonder how many of you like black pudding? Maybe you like it with beans as well ha-ha!

And are we weird for talking about our 'death row meals' or does everybody do that? HA-HA!!!

You didn't tell me

This is one of my favourites. We can have a conversation, a full blown conversation with specific details about a specific thing and all is dandy. Then the day of said 'thing' I get "You didn't tell me"

"Errrrr, yes I did, we had a full conversation about it. I can't believe you are now saying, you don't know!"

"I don't know because you didn't tell me!" he says every time.

And then, it gets better. Something will happen or will be about to happen and he will say to me, "Yeah I told you!"

AND HE DIDN'T Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha

I actually think what happens is, he's so busy messing with his phone, watch, looking through the TV guide, pretending to listen to me because I am waffling on, that he actually just mutters 'yeah, yeah, ok' and has no clue what I've said.

No need for instructions

It's funny, everything we ever buy for our home or for the girls that has to be put together, we always have left over bits. You can guarantee that if it comes with 20 screws to hold it together, my husband will only need 12. And that's because he NEVER reads the instructions first. I think he is just impatient and reading how to do it first would slow him up so he just cracks on and throws it together hoping for the best. So many times I have laughed at him because he has put something together and it looks nothing how it's supposed to. And then it actually ends up taking twice as long as it would have done if he had just read the instructions first! Honestly, I just have to leave him to it because I know what's coming every time :-)

Early bird

Until I met my husband, I was not aware that being early was the way to go about everything in life. Yeah, ok, I like to get to things on time or even a few minutes early but hours earlier than you should be there?? WHY?! It's a little thing he has learnt from his lovely Mum (Hi Mummy E!) as the pair of them literally have to arrive 3 hours before any event or outing that we ever do. Take going on holiday for example. Our flight can be 1pm in the afternoon. However, we are chucking the suitcases in a taxi at 7am, just incase, as we wouldn't want to miss the flight. Sooo we sit around for what seems like hours and hours because we are the first people arriving to take that flight, we are first in the queue, first through security and first to find a seat! On many occasions this has caused a bit of friction because I am a very last minute kinda gal, I like to leave it all until almost leaving time and then rush about like a loon which winds him up even more ha-ha. Sorry hubs.

Stressed under pressure

Following on from winding him up by being a 'last minute kinda gal,' I would go as far as to say I'm quite a 'laid back kinda gal' too. Now I know this winds him up because he is the TOTAL opposite of me. I think females do tend to be a bit more rational about things and not overreact. I guess many relationships are like this and that's why it works. One of you needs to be the rational thinker whilst the other gets all stressy and aggy. But it works. I'm not saying I never get worked up about things because I do and he can be the same calming influence on me too but I would definitely say I am the more patient one. Bless him.

This blog is not meant as a 'husband/partner bashing' because I adore my husband. He winds me up a treat, that's for sure, as I'm certain many other halves do but I couldn't feel any more loved than I do. He is super helpful and mucks in with all the mundane jobs around the house. He helps me set up my photography studio and pack it all away after sessions. He never lets me worry about anything and always knows how to make me laugh. I can honestly say he makes me feel like a Queen and treats me with complete respect.

I love him, and all his funny ways, and to be honest, I wouldn't change him for the world. That makes him who he is and that's why we work so well. If we were the same, life would be pretty boring. So thank you, to my wonderful husband, for being you and for loving me like you do. You da best!