WHAT IS IT?...

I hear you. What is cynophobia, you're asking. Cynophobia comes from the Greek words cyno (dog) and phobia (fear). A person suffering from it has an extreme and persistent fear of dogs. It is more than just feeling uncomfortable around them, this is a full blown fright, not only being around them but also anticipating being around them.

This type of fear is very specific and affects approximately 7 to 9% of the population. There are many symptoms that can associated with cynophobia but no two people experience the same. They can vary from person to person.

Some people have physical symptoms such as:

• rapid heart rate
• shaking
• upset stomach
• sweating

Some people have emotional responses such as:

• panic/anxiety
• intense need to escape situations
• loss of control
• feeling powerless

Children can also express these symptoms:

• tantrums/screaming
• clinging to someone familiar - refusing to leave someone's side
• crying

When did it start?

Erin was around 2 years old, maybe even slightly younger, when it started. We still don't know and possibly will never know, what started it and why. She had never had much contact with dogs. None of our immediate family or extended family had a dog at that time and we only had a couple of friends who had small dogs but we didn't visit overly often.

She LOVED watching movies and TV programmes about dogs and would talk about them in a positive way for a long time. She had never been in an uncomfortable situation with a dog and we didn't see many to be honest (which may have escalated the problem we realise now.)

I guess it started with her being wary around dogs we did see. When we would visit a couple of our friends, even just seeing their dog walk into the room we were in would set her off. She would begin with jumping up on a sofa but eventually it lead to her having a full outburst of tears until either she was removed from the room or the dog was.

It was hard to comprehend how she could be so scared of a small dog, that had never ever shown any aggression or boisterous behaviour towards her and simply just walked by her. It seemed crazy and irrational and I'll be honest, made me feel embarrassed sometimes. I had never seen anyone act so intensely when nothing (nothing visible to me anyway) was happening except a dog walking around the room we were in.

Of course, looking back now I feel racked with guilt. Guilt that I was sometimes embarrassed (she could not help it) guilt I tried to get her over her fear by putting her in those situations and guilt that I probably told her she was being silly (literally breaks my heart thinking about it.)

I was worried about her. It took some time but I realised that her fear was becoming more severe. I couldn't bear to see her so upset. She had many of the symptoms of cynaphobia. She would shake, cry, climb up you and cling on. Her eyes would literally be popping out of her head and she would never take her eyes off the dog until it was out of sight. Luckily we didn't have much to do with dogs until she reached school age as we would avoid situations we knew were going to make her worse. It wasn't fair to her and we felt helpless.

Erin reached school age and this is probably the trigger point when it reached its worst. We couldn't even walk to the school gate without passing a dog and every school run was just awful. She would be crying, climbing up me whilst I was pushing a pushchair with Kate in, she would even go into the road to avoid someone walking a dog. It became alarming as she couldn't handle her fear. It was at this point it became cynophobia. All her rational thinking ended and she didn't care how or what she did to put distance between her and dogs. I needed help.

I called our GP. I asked if there was any advice I could be given to help her with her phobia. I was told, 'It's a childhood thing, she will grow out of it.' At this point she was 6. She was apparently too young to receive any kind of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and there wasn't really any help or advice they could give me. Great. Now what?

I spoke to her school. I asked if there was any way of someone working with her at school. I was told yes and that a TA would call me about her and we could put a 1:1 into place for her. She did call me and took the details down. Then nothing. It never happened. I also asked if The Dogs Trust could visit the school and do their free talk about children being safe around dogs. The school contacted them and waited to put it into action. Yep, never happened again.

You can imagine how difficult it was when nobody seemed to want to help us. I was so worried about not only Erin's well-being, but her safety too. Walking to school and she's running in to the road to avoid a dog on a lead?!! We just had to manage as best we could. Kate was no longer in a pushchair at this stage so I could hold both their hands and make sure she was safe. We couldn't go for nice walks as a family if there was a slight chance we could see a dog. I remember taking them to Coombe Abbey and the whole way around, Erin was jumping every time a dog walked past or came into view. She didn't enjoy most of it for worrying about them and that was really hard to see. We took them to Windsor to lay flowers for the Queen and she cried walking along the main road outside and Ross had to carry her as there were people walking dogs everywhere. She couldn't even go for walks with her Grandparents along a canal because of dogs.

Were we crazy?

It wasn't getting better with age. In my opinion, it was getting worse. She had such a negative headspace around dogs but also about dogs. She started to say things like, 'I wish all dogs were extinct, I hate them, they're horrible.' We'd see cute puppies on TV and she would say 'Bleurgh, I can't look at it.' We knew it was the worst she had ever been. How could we get her over this phobia? What else was there left to try?

Ross and I talked one day, just joking, saying imagine if we got a dog and she had to face her fears. Ross said I think it would work if we found the right dog. I wasn't convinced. This girl was more than scared, she was petrified. How on Earth would we even get her in the same room as a dog? Wasn't going to happen.

We left it a couple of weeks but we kept coming back to talking about it. Ross suggested we just have a look online and see what dogs were around. We decided a cocker spaniel would work well in our family as they are a great breed for having around children. They are known to have a lovely temperament and are easy to train. I looked online for days. We agreed that having a puppy would be hard work but would also be good to ease Erin into having one with it being small.

I looked and looked for days. Litter after litter of cocker spaniel puppies. Some miles away, some extortionately priced and then...

This little one stopped us in our tracks. It's like he appeared after days of searching and was meant for us. He was from a litter of 5 but he was the last one left. The farm he was on was in Droitwich which wasn't too far away. Ross instantly loved him, even from his photo. We hadn't told Erin we were looking yet as we knew it would be a flat no. We decided that we had to tell her and gauge whether this would be a good idea. If she was flat out no, we would not have pursued it.

We called her upstairs (and Kate, as it was as much her decision too) and had a long conversation about us maybe getting our own puppy to look after. We showed her the photo of the one we were thinking about and she started smiling. Her first questions were obviously 'what if I don't like him, what if I'm scared, can I think about it?' We gave her time and within an hour she asked if we could go see him. We explained that if we went to see him and she felt scared or worried we could just leave and we wouldn't mention it again.

I messaged the breeder and asked if he was still available. She said he was and we could visit him the following day. The girls were excited and Erin really surprised us with how positive she was being about it. We got there and went inside. We went into the living area and saw the crate in the corner of the room. Inside it was the most shy, nervous little 13 week old puppy we had ever seen. He was trembling and couldn't even stand up on his back legs. He was lay as flat as his body would let him and we could see he was frightened to be the last puppy.

Erin sat on their sofa for a good 10 minutes whilst we got him out for a little cuddle. He was still so scared and she was nervously checking him out. It was like they were made for each other. She was scared of him and he was scared of us. Without us saying a word to her, she got up and came and sat on my lap next to him. She reached out her hand and stroked him. We were so proud. She was smiling and he was just lay there so still. We stayed for another 20 minutes letting her be with him and Kate also. We asked lots of questions and found out all about him. We said goodbye and got back in the car to travel home.

We asked them both on the way home, so how do you feel about him. Kate instantly said yes she loved him. Erin was quiet. I turned around to see her crying. I asked her if she was ok, thinking maybe it was too much for her, to which she answered, 'I love him so much, can we have him?'

We couldn't believe it. This little girl, now 8 years old, been terrified of dogs almost her whole life now wanting to bring this little puppy home with us. We obviously didn't rush into it and gave her a few days to process it all. She did have one day when she said she wasn't sure again so we knew it needed time. Then on the Thursday of the next week she said before school, 'I definitely want him to come and live with us, I can't stop thinking about him.'

We told her we would think about it (we already had) and we would perhaps go back at the weekend to get him. I contacted the breeder and told her we were 100% having him and asked if we could collect him the following day whilst the girls were at school.

We went and picked him up and brought him home and the girls were picked up by their Grandma and stayed at her house. We wanted to give him a little time to get used to our home and garden before overwhelming him with people. We kept it a surprise from the girls and when they came home on the Saturday evening, he was ready waiting for them.

I videoed them coming into the kitchen where he was sat waiting for them and sure enough, Erin burst into tears. She was so happy and said 'Thank you so much.' We knew at that second that it was the best thing we could have ever done for her and it was going to be a wonderful journey.

It almost sounds like a movie script but from that moment on, something in her changed. I don't think she had ever felt a love like that before. It was an instant connection and he needed her as much as she needed him. They were a match made in heaven, with his shy temperament and her sensitive nature. What we had hoped for, happened that very moment. She adored him and Kate loved him too. It was actually Kate who took a little longer to get used to him in our home but after a couple of weeks, she settled too.

Erin trains him, plays with him, cuddles him and feeds him. He is the first to get a hug every morning and her face beams when she comes home from school to his waggy tail. We hoped it would go well but in all honestly it went better than we could have ever imagined. She not only loves him...

she loves ALL dogs!!! No longer avoids them on walks and actively seeks to stroke them and be near them. She didn't just overcome her phobia, she faced it and conquered it. She is an inspiration and we are so proud of her. It may not be for everyone but if you can challenge yourself to face your fear, you may just overcome it, too.