At times it is difficult to manage

This week passed me by so fast. Before I knew it it was Friday morning and I thought to myself 'Where on Earth did that week go, again?!' I am back into the swing of a full working week now but it literally takes up all of my time. I was naive to think that working for myself would allow me more free time and be less stressful than having a full time job away from home but at times, it's the total opposite and I have to set small goals to achieve to keep me from burning myself out.

When you decide to have a family, the thoughts start to spring up about what work will look like for you once you have little ones. Do you take maternity leave and then return to full time employment? Do you go back into a part time role so you can be home more? Do you set up your own business to allow you more flexibility? Or do you stop working and focus on full time mum life? Everybody's choices are different and some have no choice but to make the decision they do. And that's ok! We do the best we can and what fits best for our family. For me, I decided to take a part time role back at my job but it just wasn't working for me anymore. I wanted to be at home with my girls as much as I could and going out to work for 2 days of the week was hard for me. I still wanted to work but wanted to work from home so I didn't miss out on Erin and Kate.

Well... it was hard... and still is. You see, the problem with working from home is, you never switch off. I don't know if any of you can relate but when I had my craft business working from home before I started my photography, I was working until late at night every night. This was because I was being 'mom' all day and didn't have much time in the daytime to work really which meant that evenings, when they went up to bed, was the time I got my work out and started on orders. I was my own boss but being a one woman band meant I had to deal with everything a small business brings. The making, the ordering, the packing, the posting, the messaging, the photographing, the book keeping - everything! It was exhausting. And I was really busy at certain times of the year like Christmas which was doubly tiring.

My husband helped me as much as he could but he worked full time and so was tired of an evening when he got home. I think sometimes though, I felt guilty. Like, I had been at 'home' all day so I didn't have a right to be tired and shouldn't be moaning about working late at night. Yes, I may have been at 'home' all day but being at home is not relaxing at all. It is exhausting, especially with two children under two to take care of all day. I take my hat off to single parent families who take care of children, homes and work alone because it is draining. Physically and mentally. I was lucky to have a supportive family around me to help me with my work and with taking care of the girls when I needed it.

I thought when I changed career to photography that this would give me even more freedom of time. Yeah, I could take on bookings when it suited me, factor in days off (particularly weekends) to have family time as the girls would both be in full time school and my work load would be a lot less than churning out hundreds of handmade frames a month. But even now, I find this work/life balance difficult. I am lucky in the sense that my studio is in my garage conversion so I can shut the door at the end of the day and physically switch off from work. However, on a day when I have a ton of editing to get through, I have that guilt creeping in that I am not doing enough around the home that day, that I am sat looking at the computer screen.

I know that that feeling is literally just because I am sat at 'home.' If I was sat in a commercial studio on a high street - I would be at work, right?! But because I am at 'home' I'm not at work! Does that make sense? I then get the girls from school and I have to stop working on my edits because that's the only time I have to connect with them after they've been at school all day. They don't want to see mommy stuck at her computer until they go to bed and I don't want to do that to them, either. I treasure that time we have together and so work has to wait until later in the evening. Then I feel guilty for taking away time with my husband!

I have friends and family who have had this struggle too - finding a work/life balance and I have seen what can happen if you don't make it a priority. It is never good for anyone's mental health to keep burning the candle at both ends. We are all human and have busy lives but we have to make time to enjoy life too and not feel guilty for making that time. I have started to set aside certain hours for work now, just as I would have if I worked a day job. My hours are now 9:15 (after the school run) until 5pm Monday to Friday. Occasionally, if I want to finish a gallery I am almost done on or another work job like setting up for the next day needs doing, I will work a couple of hours once the girls have gone to bed or on a weekend day. But not every day.

It is so important to value your down time as well as your work. I honestly love my job and couldn't be happier doing this day in, day out. But I want my girls to remember me as the mom who had time for them. The mom who wasn't just 'with them' of an evening but actually WITH them. You really need to stick to your working hours and not be afraid of letting people know, 'hey, you know what, I have had the busiest week and unfortunately I didn't get as much done as I would have liked to but I promise, I am on it and will have it over as soon as I can.' We are all doing our best. We all have busy lives and family that care about us. They want to see us happy and not stressing over small things that really in the grand scheme of things are not that big a deal. Most people are very understanding and will always know you are trying your best to do what you have to do. But at the same time, you can't take advantage and let people wait forever for you to have that time. It is all about balance.

A wise person once quoted -

"If it's not going to matter in five years from now, don't spend more than five minutes being upset by it."

And it is so true. Don't let yourself be completely overwhelmed by deadlines and working and forget to live your life, too. Your family need a happy you so give yourself a break. Take a weekend off. Put the work away at 3pm on a Friday instead of 5 just to recharge. Don't feel like you are letting people down by having to have extra time to complete things. We are passionate about what we do and want to do a good job! I know I can't do a good job if my cup is empty. I need to fill it back up from time to time.

And so do you. You got this! x