How many of you can relate?
I don't know what it is at the moment but this lockdown seems so much harder than the last! I know it isn't just me as every family member or friend I speak to seems to feel the same. Some days have really hit me quite hard and as a whole, I am usually a very happy, positive person. Is this just a case of the usual January blues or is it the lockdown that is causing this? Maybe it's a mix of both. I seem to have narrowed it down to these factors:-
The weather
This time of year can definitely drop your mood. There is no green or bright colour anywhere when you go out. There is almost always rain or dampness in the air. It's dark for what seems like all day and any glimpses of sun come and go in an hour and we are thrown back into darkness again. Don't get me wrong, I love winter for the crisp mornings, the frosts and the flurries of snow we have occasionally but I think this year it is so much harder to enjoy without all of the little extras we usually throw in like, visiting someone, going out for dinner and having a mooch around the January sales. Bring on the Spring now I say!
A tougher lockdown
I'm sure most of us knew it was coming, yet personally, I didn't feel prepared for what was to come this time. After the excitement of Christmas was over, it just brought the reality of the situation we were still in and the severity of it. My husband and I had already made the decision to not send our girls back to school for the first week of January. We would have gladly accepted the fine if it came about as we could see how much more serious things were this time around. Luckily, we had that decision confirmed in our favour by a National lockdown anyway. We were relieved to be honest and I was actually happy to be keeping our girls safe at home with us. Homeschooling in the Summer had been great and the girls dealt with it really well. We had fun and made the best of a sad situation happening around the world, however, this time it's different.
homeschooling
This time around, it just doesn't feel the same. Again, this is linked to the above reasons so far for everyones low moods. In the Summer we could get out for some fresh air, in the sunshine, topping up our vitamin D and the girls were feeling ok about not seeing friends and family for a few months. But now, it feels like forever. I can't count the number of times my eldest daughter has had a little cry. She is a sensitive girl at the best of times but especially now. They are really missing their family members and friends.
It has been the toughest thing to try to explain to young children. This then affects their homeschooling. Working at home is just not the same as being at school with their friends and their teachers. We have tried to imitate the school day as best we can with short breaks to play out in the garden and trying more practical ideas but some days, they just find it overwhelming. I suffer with mom guilt when homeschooling some days. I try to be as patient as I can be but when you are home, you can't just be a teacher. All the usual home things still need doing. The cleaning, the washing, the cooking, my own work, 2 lots of children's school work, it's a lot!
So to help ease the pressure a bit, we have introduced 'Fancy Friday' in our house now for homeschool. It gives the girls an incentive to get excited about the end of the school week approaching. We get through each day as best we can (I say 'we' because I find it mind crushing some days, too) and we look forward to the girls dressing up in fancy dress on a Friday to do their home learning. I know it will only be a few more weeks and we can do this. You really can only try your best can't you!
no holidays or travel booked
I have spoken to so many friends who are finding this one of the main struggles. We are sociable creatures who enjoy spending time with others and love nothing more than a holiday away somewhere nice or even traveling around finding new places to visit. Being stopped from doing these things has been difficult. We know it's for everyones safety and I appreciate that greatly but it doesn't make it any easier. There will always be time in the future for more holidays and adventures of course but the line 'you always want what you can't have' could not be any more true. We just have to remember that once this is all over and we all come out the other side, we will appreciate all of these things even more than we did before. We've never had them taken away before and it shows that we don't know what to do with ourselves when we cant have them. I can't wait to jet off somewhere wonderful when it is safe again. I am longing for a 40th birthday break away :-(
not being able to work
I love working. Well, I love this job. I miss it. I am a creative and my mind is always running on super speed. I feel like I have 20 browsers open in it at all times. I had put so much preparation in before Christmas, updating my website, changing my packages, investing in the best equipment and outfits and such like, that it really was a huge smack in the face when I knew I was going to have to close again. I know I will be super prepared to go full steam ahead in a few weeks when I can reopen but right now, I am missing my daily visits from sleepy parents with their precious newborns to little cheekies visiting me for children's sessions and cake smashes. Working makes me feel like me. Not mommy. Not wifey. Just Gem. I can't wait to be back doing what I love.
things to be grateful for
I remind myself daily that there are things I have to be grateful for and I am. I really am. I have started a daily exercise regime every morning to start my day right. I am making homemade soups and dinners every day and filling my body with healthy goodness. I am keeping my children and husband happy and being positive as much as I can. I have my health and my family have theirs, that is always something to feel blessed about.
Some days are just harder than others and I've come to accept that that is ok. Not one person in the whole entire world can say they feel 100% A-Ok all of the time. We are humans and we have emotions. But when the good days outweigh the bad days, you know you're doing good. And that is all you need to concentrate on!
