Why do we care so much about the non important stuff?
Do we really only see value in ourselves when we are a before and after picture? It's something I have seen more and more of lately and as I'm getting older, my views are changing. At one time, I was a larger girl and that really mattered to me. Obviously it didn't for a while because I hid away from mirrors and photos so I didn't really think much about it - or I thought I didn't. Of course it mattered to me. Why didn't I want to have photos taken of me? Why didn't I want to look in a mirror? Because I was embarrassed and hated myself!
When I think back now to all the things I did in my life around that time, the lovely holidays I went on, the nights out with my friends, having the best time, I don't have a single photo of me doing those things. I have nothing to look back on. Why though? Was I not worthy? Was I horrible to look at? Did my friends and family not like being seen with me? Of course that's not it. It was how I saw myself and how I thought society would judge me.
From a young age, my generation were constantly fed the idea that we should be super slim, have a light weight and look a certain way. You think back to all the movies that mention a girl's size, and these are just a few of them...
- Pitch Perfect - FAT AMY - The Barden Bellas don't want to give her a shot because she's fat. Yuk
- Love, Actually - Hugh Grant's character questions his attraction to his younger assistant, Martine McCutcheon, because of her "fat arse" - I mean, seriously, WHAT?!
- The Nutty Professor - Eddie Murphy's character buys into 'fat people don't deserve love' and so develops a strain of DNA that allows him to transform into his thin alter ego who finds it easy to find love.
- Shallow Hal - In this movie, we're made to see that Gwyneth Paltrow's character is ONLY loveable when Jack Black is hypnotised to see her 'inner beauty.' - Seriously?!
- Mean Girls - Regina is tricked into eating high calorie snacks and we're told she has a 'fat ass' - FYI - she didn't!
- Bridget Jones's Diary - Bridget believed she would be a better, more beautiful person if she was thin. And then we are shown her weight at 9st 7lb!
It's no wonder that girls and women grew up believing it wasn't acceptable to be bigger, have wobbly tummies and legs, bigger bottoms, cellulite and more. But do you know what?
It absolutely is! Do you know why? Because none of those things define you! Not a single one. I have a wobbly tummy, wobbly thighs and cellulite but I am also a good cook, a great listener, a mom to 2 beautiful little girls, a loving wife, a cherished daughter, realllllllly funny (I think so anyway ha) and so much more. THOSE are the things that truly, truly matter.
Do you think in years to come, when your life comes to an end and your loved ones gather together to remember you, they'll be saying things like 'I really miss her but her thighs rubbed together at the top' or 'didn't she have the biggest stretch marks?!' NO! Of course they won't. They will remember you by the things that did define you.
The way you made them feel.
The kindness you shared.
The hugs you gave.
The funny laugh you had.
The thoughtful things you always did.
The loving words you said to them.
The stern talking to you had when you needed it.
I am so glad to see more body positivity everywhere. I feel like we are definitely moving the right way. I don't want our girls growing up in a world where they think normal body things aren't normal. I follow some very inspirational women on Instagram and the things they write about and share are so valid. Alexlight_ldn shares lots of important information and her own life experiences regarding body positivity and more. Aliciamccarvell is a promotor of positive body image and self love. She and her husband are really fun and I admire the content she makes. Thebirdspapaya is the lady I have followed the longest. Sarah is Canadian and shares her thoughts on parenthood, body image and more. These powerful women inspire me with their messages to women and also girls. They are 'normalising' all bodies because seriously, no two bodies are the same!
Myleen Klass was talking about this very topic on Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and how she was 'fat shamed' when she was just starting out in her career. She now actively encourages body positivity with her own children and has no weighing scales at home. Dove are massive on promoting positive body image to youngsters and I really value their ethos. If you don't follow their social media, you should. They put out powerful content about real life young people and how the world at the minute is affecting their mental health.
If you take one thing away from this blog today, I would say go take a look at Dove's Instagram. We all need to take on board their underlying message, for us AND our children.
